[THIS IS AN AUTOMATED MESSAGE TO ALL FLOODIANS] [PRIORITY ONE] >>PLAY MESSAGE<< >THIS IS A MESSAGE TO ALL FLOODIANS. WE WISH TO INFORM YOU THAT CHRISTMAS IS ONLY [2] DAYS AWAY. PLEASE WRAP ALL PRESENTS, SECURE PACKAGES, AND BE READY TO FILL STOCKINGS. IT IS RECOMMENDED TO BE READY TO ACTIVATE LIGHT DISPLAYS, TURN ON RADIO UNITS, AND ACTIVATE DVD/BLU RAY MOVIE PLAYERS [AS PER THE [CHRISTMAS PROTOCAL]< >PLEASE CONDUCT ALL CELEBRATIONS SAFELY, AND CONSUME ALL ALCOHOL RESPONSIBLY. BE PREPARED TO BAKE CHRISTMAS COOKIES FOR [SANTA CLAUS].< [WARNING] >>PRIORITY ONE<< >THERE WILL BE A MASS INVASION OF DESTICLES [TYPE: CHRISTMAS]. WE RECOMMEND CREATING A BATTLE STRATEGY FOR THE WINTER WAR.< WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS [OR RELIGIOUS EQUIVALENT] >>KEEP IT CLEAN<<