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Edited by The Lizardo:
7/8/2014 11:08:10 AM
31
so theres this girl...
hi flood, lizardo here. i got another girl problem.
so i met a girl on tinder and we hit it off pretty well, aside from the fact that she was underage. got a good BJ, i had sex with her with my penis, you know all that stuff. but i woke up at like 2am and she was passed out bleeding out her anus. i was pretty spooked and said outloud " uh-oh probably sex'd her too hard i doo that sometimes" while tilting my sunglasses down. needless to say, i called my cousin bobby and asked him what to do about it and he said 'well you should... call the -blam!-in cops or some shit' so i did and they came over and said it was likely a rough sex homicide. they fingered (LOL!) me as the prime suspect and i denied it up and down, saying i was drunk after having fourteen btotles of absinthe and it wasnt my responsibility. the cops bought it and left. so now i got this likely dead underage girl bleeding out her ass on my bed
so flood
what do i do?
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1 ReplyEdited by asir: 7/8/2014 6:57:45 PM[quote]fourteen bottles of absinthe[/quote] She probably died because of your radioactive member.
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I laughed at "bleeding out her anus", and that's also where I quit.
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1 Reply[quote]what do i do?[/quote] Stick it in her pooper.
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Do the Alaskan pipeline on her.
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2 Replies*reads title* *laughs and walks away*
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1 ReplyWait so there is a girl bleeding from her pooper on your bed .... so instead of trying to help her .... you go on b.net ask the [b][i][u]FLOOD[/u][/i][/b] for advice ? Has it became a floodians instinct to ask for help on Offtopic now ?
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Edited by OweMeOne Kenobi: 7/8/2014 10:15:17 PMIts elementary my dear Lizardman. You sexed her dead, so all you need to do is sex her back to life. Just put your penis in her pooper. That should stop the bleeding. Just leave it in there until the bleeding stops. Then give her a bagel or something and she should be fine.
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1 ReplyJust... Just no
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I think the phrase is, "you keep what you kill" Right?
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Burn her. Burn her good.
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Best thread? Best thread.
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I'll give you the same advice I heard from a very wise man once... [b]PUNCH HER IN THE THROAT[/b]
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Reading this...and the comments...I asked myself, "What the hell am I doing?" I'm still reading this, because it's so stupid and horrible. XD
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It appears that you've done goofed.
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1 ReplyI read that. Why hasn't someone invented something that will allow me to unread things? I'd back that shit on kickstarter and buy ten of them.
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7 Replies[quote]hi flood, lizardo here[/quote] Stopped reading there
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1 ReplyEdited by BannedPointblank: 7/8/2014 2:38:37 PMFu[b]c[/b][i]k[/i] her right in the pussy/ Stick it in her pooper
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6 RepliesGet it while it's fresh.
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You should dump her body in a tub of hydrofluoric acid.
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1 ReplyYou should find the source of the bleeding [spoiler]With your penis[/spoiler]
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2 Replies( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)/( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) would ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)again
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4 RepliesEdited by RageQuitMichael: 7/8/2014 1:46:57 PMMy god. Don't just sit there. Try to to wake her up or something, find something to clean it up as she wakes up. I doubt you -blam!-ed her to death. Once you have woken her up, get her to wear tampons or something. Also, [quote]I had sex with her, with my penis[/quote] As oppose to with your thigh?
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2 RepliesFind her family and return the body.If she doesn't have any family bury her with respect.
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3 RepliesWell her mouths still intact, right?
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1 Replysurprise dead buttsecks
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9 RepliesAnother day, another Lizardo's girl thread. All looks well in the Flood land.
