Hello good sirs and madams at BUGNE. I have tried to contact you via carrier pigeon for quite some time now. You have yet to respond. This makes me wonder. Do you actually care about the community? Or do you not care about your community? You're the opposite of EA. EA actually cares about their community and pleasing the fans.
But enough of this. I possess critical information that can be used to save Hallo: Density. And based on your track record (the Faillo series [Faillo: 1- Faillo: 4]), I think you'll need my help. I am willing to overlook your insults this one time! I expect Jason Jones himself to respond to me in no less than 24 hours. If he does not respond, I shall be forced to remove this advice.
Now. Here's how to save Hallo once and for all:
Based on my ~2 weeks of BASIC I can help fix Hallo: Density. My first priority is balancing the multiplayer!
For example, I have been suggesting for years that the NEIDLR needs a buff, more clip size, increased range, and increased tracking. However, YOU HAVE IGNORED ME FOR OVER 365 DAYS. Do you understand that the NEIDLR takes more skill than any other gun. (Lol gernaid lonchur. The noob's favorite weapon.) As you know, my K/D:R is over 0.05; which means I am in the top 5% of all Hallo players. In Halo: 3, I was a 10 (No lie, you can check my stats) in Infection. As you all clearly know, Infection is by far the hardest playlist to get a solid ranking in. In Halo: Reach, not only did I manage to reach Iron EVERY SINGLE TIME in the Arena, but my skillful use of armer lokk caused so many players to rage that YOU GUYS AT BUGNE removed it. Don't deny it! Now, since Hallo: 4 is your last attempt at making a decent Hallo game, I shall be a tad more lenient. I not only used Proh vizshun and the boltShot to get my CSR to 15 in Flood, I caused so many butthurt kids to rage that you actually NERFED THE b0LTsH0T.
Remove betrayal booting for me. Okay. So I am one of the best Snipers/Rocketeers around. I have over 3 combined kills with each gun. However, I've been seeing a problem lately. Many people have been taking them from me. Then, I have to betray them for a gun that SHOULD RIGHTFULLY BE MINE. And then they sometimes boot me. LIKE WTF, BUGNE? Do I boot you when you take my money? NO. SO DON'T LET THOSE peasants BOOT ME! Oh! And then when I tell them that they are stupid idiots and that I'll hack them for booting me; they just report me! SERIOUSLY! GET CONTROL OF YOUR OWN GAME BUGNE! DON'T LET PLAYERS BAN ME FROM LIVE. THEY DON'T HAVE AS MUCH SWAG AS ME! Don't let those noobs betray me. LIKE WHEN I KILL MY TEAMMATE WITH A ROCKET WHILE THEY WERE ASSASSINATING SOMEONE! LIKE WTF? ALL I DID WAS KILL THEM. IF THEY WERE DUMB ENOUGH TO ASSASSINATE SOME GUY, THEY DESERVE TO DIE. And then they betray me back. Seriously????? DO YOU REALIZE WHAT BS THAT IS? GOD!
Take out the damned mongouse. It is by far the single most overpowered vehicle in Hallo: Reach. I have to use all 100 of my D EM R shots to kill even damage it. What the hell were you guys thinking when you made it? "LOL! Guys! We should make a vehicle as fast as the ghowst, but with more armor, the ability to carry a passenger and the ability to spaltr someone. Oh and let's make it small, so it's incredibly hard to hit. YEAH, THERE'S NO WAY THAT'S GONNA BE OVERPOWERED. Damned amateurs. Did you even read that? Jeeze! How the heck is that not OP? Ugh. Sometimes, I wish that Sony would fire you guys from making Hallo.
And then the genre! Oh, hey look! ANOTHER SCI-FI SHOOTER. Like that has not been done 1,000 times before. Make something original! Like... a modern shooter!
Edit: Add more interesting characters! Jonsun and Coretana were completely boring! I felt no attachment to them whatsoever. The only memorable character was Pomer! She was smart, interesting, and funny! Add more like her!
Now, Jones, you have exactly 24 hours to respond. If you do, I will only take 60% of the earnings from Hallo: Density. If you do not, I will delete this message and watch as Hallo fails. As we all know, the only way for you guys at BUGNE to actually make any money of Density, is to listen to these suggestions. I think that we can come to an agreement (ex: 50% of the earnings, but I get exclusive Alpha access). Thank you for your time BUGNE.
Per Audacia Ad Astra,
Hawke.
-
Wait, wait, wait. I think I have this figured out. Hawke, did you have one of your pigeons type this out for you? Are you a pigeon?
-
I love you for this
-
Edited by Zeldafan92: 10/30/2013 3:26:17 AMokay ....
-
This.
-
Yeah not sure if troll or just retarded, pretty sure troll.
-
"Hallo" and "Bugne"
-
I miss the guy who had bought a singular share of Activision Stock and made a thread where he wanted to meet with Bungie as one of their "Parent Company's" share holders to discuss Destiny. This just isn't as clever unfortunately, you tried too hard :(
-
BEGINNING TRANSMISSION: (Low melodious hum.) Sunshine is worth having. O [ ¡ ]º - toilet man [][] ENDING TRANSMISSION:
-
Edited by realdomdom: 10/30/2013 10:59:50 PMYou make me sick. BUGNE is not here to do what you say, just because you post it on the forums! Write an email at least. With Comic Sans.
-
Edited by TheSilverElite: 10/30/2013 11:20:36 PMBungie didn't make Halo 4 in the first place. But that was funny lol
-
Dis guy. He has smartz
-
Lol 10/10
-
*claps slowly and then progressively furiously like a monkey* good show chap GOOD SHOW
-
10.5/10 great read I think they might of shot your pigeons
-
You sir, should write screenplays.
-
I have to say, this made me laugh pretty hard xD
-
Gud post. Wud reed a ginn. +1
-
Edited by Ocean Man: 10/30/2013 2:03:46 AMBUGNE you need to hire this man right away! He knows what the community whats. He is the most swegest of us all!
-
I really hope BUGNE reads this.
-
Improve your grammar pheasant.
-
I think the reason they haven't contacted you is because your grammar sucks. Might want to work on that. Btw it's position not pigeon
-
this is a test. right?
-
Hahahaha I liked the part about having more swag than the people you betrayed for stealing the weapons which so obviously had your name on them. I agree, you do have more swag. 10/10.
-
9/10, BUGNE should definitely reed this! I mean, master chef isn't even in density! How can they call it a hallo game with the chef!
-
12/10 Would read again.
-
Wow. such vision. much influence. Start revolushun.