Hello good sirs and madams at BUGNE. I have tried to contact you via carrier pigeon for quite some time now. You have yet to respond. This makes me wonder. Do you actually care about the community? Or do you not care about your community? You're the opposite of EA. EA actually cares about their community and pleasing the fans.
But enough of this. I possess critical information that can be used to save Hallo: Density. And based on your track record (the Faillo series [Faillo: 1- Faillo: 4]), I think you'll need my help. I am willing to overlook your insults this one time! I expect Jason Jones himself to respond to me in no less than 24 hours. If he does not respond, I shall be forced to remove this advice.
Now. Here's how to save Hallo once and for all:
Based on my ~2 weeks of BASIC I can help fix Hallo: Density. My first priority is balancing the multiplayer!
For example, I have been suggesting for years that the NEIDLR needs a buff, more clip size, increased range, and increased tracking. However, YOU HAVE IGNORED ME FOR OVER 365 DAYS. Do you understand that the NEIDLR takes more skill than any other gun. (Lol gernaid lonchur. The noob's favorite weapon.) As you know, my K/D:R is over 0.05; which means I am in the top 5% of all Hallo players. In Halo: 3, I was a 10 (No lie, you can check my stats) in Infection. As you all clearly know, Infection is by far the hardest playlist to get a solid ranking in. In Halo: Reach, not only did I manage to reach Iron EVERY SINGLE TIME in the Arena, but my skillful use of armer lokk caused so many players to rage that YOU GUYS AT BUGNE removed it. Don't deny it! Now, since Hallo: 4 is your last attempt at making a decent Hallo game, I shall be a tad more lenient. I not only used Proh vizshun and the boltShot to get my CSR to 15 in Flood, I caused so many butthurt kids to rage that you actually NERFED THE b0LTsH0T.
Remove betrayal booting for me. Okay. So I am one of the best Snipers/Rocketeers around. I have over 3 combined kills with each gun. However, I've been seeing a problem lately. Many people have been taking them from me. Then, I have to betray them for a gun that SHOULD RIGHTFULLY BE MINE. And then they sometimes boot me. LIKE WTF, BUGNE? Do I boot you when you take my money? NO. SO DON'T LET THOSE peasants BOOT ME! Oh! And then when I tell them that they are stupid idiots and that I'll hack them for booting me; they just report me! SERIOUSLY! GET CONTROL OF YOUR OWN GAME BUGNE! DON'T LET PLAYERS BAN ME FROM LIVE. THEY DON'T HAVE AS MUCH SWAG AS ME! Don't let those noobs betray me. LIKE WHEN I KILL MY TEAMMATE WITH A ROCKET WHILE THEY WERE ASSASSINATING SOMEONE! LIKE WTF? ALL I DID WAS KILL THEM. IF THEY WERE DUMB ENOUGH TO ASSASSINATE SOME GUY, THEY DESERVE TO DIE. And then they betray me back. Seriously????? DO YOU REALIZE WHAT BS THAT IS? GOD!
Take out the damned mongouse. It is by far the single most overpowered vehicle in Hallo: Reach. I have to use all 100 of my D EM R shots to kill even damage it. What the hell were you guys thinking when you made it? "LOL! Guys! We should make a vehicle as fast as the ghowst, but with more armor, the ability to carry a passenger and the ability to spaltr someone. Oh and let's make it small, so it's incredibly hard to hit. YEAH, THERE'S NO WAY THAT'S GONNA BE OVERPOWERED. Damned amateurs. Did you even read that? Jeeze! How the heck is that not OP? Ugh. Sometimes, I wish that Sony would fire you guys from making Hallo.
And then the genre! Oh, hey look! ANOTHER SCI-FI SHOOTER. Like that has not been done 1,000 times before. Make something original! Like... a modern shooter!
Edit: Add more interesting characters! Jonsun and Coretana were completely boring! I felt no attachment to them whatsoever. The only memorable character was Pomer! She was smart, interesting, and funny! Add more like her!
Now, Jones, you have exactly 24 hours to respond. If you do, I will only take 60% of the earnings from Hallo: Density. If you do not, I will delete this message and watch as Hallo fails. As we all know, the only way for you guys at BUGNE to actually make any money of Density, is to listen to these suggestions. I think that we can come to an agreement (ex: 50% of the earnings, but I get exclusive Alpha access). Thank you for your time BUGNE.
Per Audacia Ad Astra,
Hawke.
-
And did you really expect money ha and your insulting halo I would like to know where you live specifically the coordinates one might enter into a nuclear football if you know what I mean so I can blow you the -blam!- up!
-
Dear god, I can actually see someone writing this seriously. God save the Internet.
-
Quality thread. #Density fanboys are too dumb to realize it.
-
Top kek
-
-
Bumpity bump bump bump.
-
Bugne should really take this in to account seen as though hallo: density is coming out pretty soon...
-
can't believe some people take this seriously.. how thick can you get ? good thread btw, lets see if bugne replies
-
Edited by mist: 11/1/2013 5:41:36 PMPeeing Brute gives stamp of approval for a really funny OP.
-
My head started to hurt after reading this.
-
Edited by Cappy kill: 12/30/2013 6:02:00 AMWtf is BUGNE and "BUGNE" isn't making halo anymore seriously no wonder they've ignored you for over 365 days. So you are officially retarded go kill yourself, on second thought don't just delete your account and go back to first grade.
-
Resquiescat in Pace StealthAngel351
-
"EA actually cares about their fans" Troll spotted.
-
Please. Please learn grammar.
-
10/10! BUGNE must do something! And while they're at it, the could fix their four ums!
-
I lost it at: [quote]Ugh. Sometimes, I wish that Sony would fire you guys from making Hallo. [/quote] PLEASE make another rant. I beg you. You're the only thing on this forum that has made me laugh this much.
-
[quote]Make something original! Like... a modern shooter! [/quote] I spilled my coffee reading this. Well done.
-
-
TL;DR
-
8/10 good job
-
Eh. Stopped reading after the third paragraph. 4/10
-
Edited by DeChief: 12/28/2013 2:05:45 PMI think that if BUGNE took this advice into account, Density will be the best Hallo game ever.
-
[b]8/10[/b] Hilarious, OP, but way too exaggerated.
-
wow. this is the first troll thread I actually liked. +1
-
Tl;dr
-
You're lucky I absolutely love stupid humor. Otherwise, I'd be giving you flak right about now.