Some of my favorites:
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story. Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle. When he crapped it out, it was 6 feet tall and a ninja.
A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bay of Lays potato chips saying "betcha can't each just one!" Chuck Norris ate the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.
A ninja once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight. To make it fair, Chuck removed both his arms and one leg. After roundhouse kicking the ninja to death, Chuck sewed his limbs back on with a rusty tent spike and some bailing wire.
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real first name was "Charles." Chuck Norris simply stared at the man until his head exploded.
My favs are:
Magicians can walk on water.....chuck norris can swim through land.
Chuck can cut a hot knife with butter
When Bell invented the telephone, he had three missed calls from Chuck norris...
Chuck opened the vault of glass with a smile, he killed the Templar with a wink, strolled and conversed with the Gorgons and obliterated the very memory of atheon with a warm chuckle.
There was once a street named after Chuck Norris. They had to change it because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
Chuck Norris died 10 years ago. Death is still working up the nerve to tell him.
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