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originally posted in:The New Dojo
10/21/2017 8:15:19 PM
1
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The sword vanishes again and now it sits on the top of a nearby tree. "Go away! I'm not going back in the ground!"
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"How'd you end up there anyways?"
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"I can't even remember because of how long it has been. I think some jack*ss adventurer didn't like my advice or something and stuck me in there."
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"..." ... "...sounds like a real jerk..."
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"Yeah, no one seems to ever appreciate my help. They just say I nag too much and that I'm like a wife without any of the good parts."
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"How are you even alive?"
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"What do you mean?"
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"Swords aren't normally able to talk, see, and hear. How can you?"
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"I put myself in this sword a long time ago....I wasn't always a sword."
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"Wow... that's deep, edgy, and cliche."
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"Edgy because of the pun? Hey, I'm not gonna be all angsty about it or anything. Just what happened."
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"Ohh ok. Anyways, I think we got off the wrong foot. You seem a little on-edge..."
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"....The puns won't help you. They'd make me squirm in discomfort if I still had a body."
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"Sorry about that... anyways, why do you even want an owner? Why not just be free? Stab whoever you want and not have to listen to someone?"
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"I can't move and I can't break free of this sword unless my owner does something. I also wouldn't mind helping someone who's actually competent."
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"You can break free? How?"
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"I'm not allowed to just openly say that. I can however say it has to do with peace."
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"Is it some cliche garbage where you find a troubled owner and help them find peace which lets you get free and find peace yourself?"
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"Oh f*ck no! That would suck. How cliche do you think I am?"
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"I mean... you are an Excalibur ripoff with the whole 'worthy owner' thing."
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"Woah. One trait that's not even similar. That sword couldn't be pulled from the ground unless the owner was the rightful king. I technically can be used by anyone if I feel like letting them use me."
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"Good point... either way, I'll be your owner."
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"No. Sorry, but I don't like you and I highly doubt you would ever succeed at setting me free."
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"Well you're not a joy to be around either. I was just trying to help you be free."
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"Hey, I can be joyful....Also, thank you for trying, but I really don't think that's a good idea."
