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originally posted in:The New Dojo
Edited by Inflatablepants:
2/12/2017 8:51:19 PM
1
"Damn right." Deity said as the two made their way into the crowd. Suddenly a hush came over the audience, and a tall bald man walked on stage.
"Good evening, ladies and gents. The opening auction will commence. Our first artifact, is a priceless vase." The host said, gesturing to a puke green vase. It had colour splattered across it like a five year old painted it. "This vase was painted by the great pikolo. The starting bid is two million dollars."
Immediately men and women began to bid. Deity leaned over to Tubbs.
"Seriously, we could just screw the calf and make mediocre vases and say they were made by great disabled artists or some shit...."
English
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[b]Tubbs stands and does a backflip off the bike[/b] Nice work... now mind explaining what happened while I was in jail?
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Deity got out of the jeep and dusted himself off as the men landed around them. "Long story. It involved a priest, a gypsie and a man with a really long beard. It doesn't matter. What does matter is that I know where the calf is. It's being sold twenty miles from here to some criminal overlord. He digs old biblical artifacts. So we're gunna hop in there, shoot some bad guys and sell the shit out of a false god. Sounds good?"
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[spoiler]"false God"[/spoiler] [spoiler]InB4Triggeroni[/spoiler] Sounds good. [b]Tubbs gets in the back of the jeep[/b] [spoiler]i'm assuming my gear is in there[/spoiler] [spoiler]oh wait... lol I used my pants and didn't even have my gear back[/spoiler]
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Deity hopped back into the drivers seat and started the jeep. The entire side was dented from the bikes but hell it still drove. After an hour of driving, Deity drove the jeep off the road and through the sands, where he then stopped the car. "Alright. If my co-ordinates are Correct they are just over this ridge."
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Then let's go. [b]Tubbs gets out of the jeep[/b]
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"No shit kiddo!" Alex said as he grabbed his blade from the back seat. The two made their way up a massive ridge of sand before Alex pushed down on Tubbs shoulder to have him take cover. He pointed ahead. "Look." He said as he pointed forwards. At the bottom of the hill was one large shipment truck. And around it were eight cars. There were twenty men standing around with rifles, and one man standing in a white suit. "Where is it?!" Called out the tux man. "In the truck." Replied a solider. "Do you have the payment?" "Do I have the...YES. I HAVE THE PAYMENT." Alex turned to Tubbs. "Alright, since you never seem to follow plans in ANY way correctly, why don't you make up the plan for this one?" He asked him.
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I can shoot in the air again.
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"........"
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No? Fine... what about taking the calf and booking it? I mean... I got super speed.
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"Ya but do you know how much gold weighs? A lot! And I know you're pretty tough, but you ain't that tough."
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Mhmm... it feels like you don't want me taking the easy way out. Which means we only have one choice left... lying. And I'm the perfect guy for that.
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"Lying? About what? They have GUNS!"
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I'm not even sure what's going on right now ok? Cut me some slack. Are we trying to buy the calf from them and we don't have any money?
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"What? No! We're stealing it! These guys are total assholes!"
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So they have it? Let's lie and act like we're buying it. Look, I got this under control. Just let me do the talking.
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"What?! But those guys down there are buying it!!"
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[spoiler]OHHHHH I GET IT NOW[/spoiler] Alright, I'll go down and act like I have more money. While I'm talking, you steal the calf.
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"Okay. Well the only way imma do that is by stealing the truck it's in."
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Ok... what if I summon Tubbs 2 to fight them while you steal the truck?
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"Ya that should work. Are you gunna head down there as a distraction as well or are you coming with me to the truck?"
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I'll go down too. Then act like I'm buying it. And then have Tubbs 2 appear and sneak up on them acting like he's attacking. Which is where you steal the truck. Then I'll catch up with super speed or a portal or something.
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"...alright. Get to it then!"
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[spoiler]I'm so important you'd rather RP with me than play Skyrim <3[/spoiler] [b]Tubbs walks down there[/b] Hello gentleman. I'm here to buy a certain golden calf of yours. I'll double what the other guy is paying. Ya know what? I'll triple it.
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[spoiler]<3[/spoiler] "What the fu[i]c[/i]k?!" Yelled the white tuxed man. "Where the hell did you come from? How the fu[i]c[/i]k do you know I'm buying the calf?!" "I have no problem with it." Said a black suited man who walked out from behind his vehicle. "More money for me." "GOD DAMNIT. ILL QUINTUPLE IT THEN!"
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Ha! I'll... uh... what's the fancy word for times 5?
