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originally posted in:The New Dojo
Edited by Inflatablepants:
2/12/2017 8:51:19 PM
1
"Damn right." Deity said as the two made their way into the crowd. Suddenly a hush came over the audience, and a tall bald man walked on stage.
"Good evening, ladies and gents. The opening auction will commence. Our first artifact, is a priceless vase." The host said, gesturing to a puke green vase. It had colour splattered across it like a five year old painted it. "This vase was painted by the great pikolo. The starting bid is two million dollars."
Immediately men and women began to bid. Deity leaned over to Tubbs.
"Seriously, we could just screw the calf and make mediocre vases and say they were made by great disabled artists or some shit...."
English
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[spoiler]is Alex supposed to be Deity[/spoiler] I'm down.
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[spoiler]ya sorry. But he hasn't introduced himself as such yet.[/spoiler] "I mean seriously how much is this thing gunna sell-" "SOLD FOR 38.2 MILLION DOLLARS!" "What the shit?!"
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Yo do you wanna mug that guy after this? Who knows how much more money he has
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"Yes because he totally has forty million dollars cash on him. What do you want him to do? Write you a cheque?"
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We could take his credit card?
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"Don't they track that shit down asap?"
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Fair point. So a check it is.
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"You know I think-" "AND THE NEXT ITEM! A bottle of scotch! Made and fermented in Scotland itself three hundred years ago!" "Oh actually that's pretty...wait a second. Is that a price tag?"
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What? [b]he looks at the bottle closer[/b]
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There's a price tag that says 29.99 on the rim of the bottle....
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Should we say something or let them waste their money?
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Deity looked at Tubbs with a smirk. "What do you think....?"
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Let them waste. But, how do we know the calf will be legit?
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"Won't know till they steal it..." The sound of the auction hammer hit the podium. "SOLD FOR 18.9 MILLION DOLLARS!"
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Dang. These dude's are richer than Lego.
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"Ya but the difference is that these people did some scummy shit to get whatever cash they have. Lego just had his money magically appear for him..."
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True... [spoiler]SAVAGE[/spoiler]
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[spoiler]*bows*[/spoiler] Suddenly, a massive object was rolled out and was covered by a curtain. "Ah! Our final item of the night!" He host said as the curtain was taken off, revealing a golden Calf. "The golden calf of Israel! The very same calf that caused Moses to smash the Ten Commandments! Bidding starts at 12.4 million dollars!" Deity leaned over to Tubbs. "It came out of the room there. See?" He gestured to the large garage door that was hidden behind a curtain. "How do we get in there though...."
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I'll distract them while you run in?
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"Ya...but we have to wait for them to bring the calf back in. Looks like the bid isn't stopping soon, so find some way to make a distraction right when they're bringing the calf back into the room. Right now!" Deity finished as he moved as close as he could to the door.
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[spoiler]distract now?[/spoiler] [spoiler]aight[/spoiler] HEY EVERYONE! THIS IS A ROBBERY! GET ON THE GROUND AND START WRITING CHECKS! [b]he pulls out the pistol and fires in the air[/b]
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Edited by Inflatablepants: 2/14/2017 12:59:34 AM[spoiler]No! you idiot! Read the god damn instructions! [/spoiler] Suddenly Tubbs felt something crack against his skull, and his vision went blurry before it went black. He opened his eyes, and as he looked around he found himself in a prison cell.
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[spoiler]he said "now!"[/spoiler] Wtf Deity... he screwed me over...
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[spoiler]It takes ten seconds to realize by "right now" he meant "go figure out something right now." Like all you had to do was read the clear instructions he gave you ya dolt.[/spoiler] Suddenly, a pastor walked by the cell. He turned towards Tubbs Cell. "A bible, sir?" He offered Tubbs a bible.
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[spoiler]mhmm[/spoiler] Sure. [b]he takes the Bible[/b] Can you tell me where I am?
