You're walking in the woods.
There's no one around,
And your phone is dead.
Out of the corner of your eye you spot him,
Shia Labeouf.
He's following you
About 30 feet back.
He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint.
He's gaining on you.
Shia Labeouf.
You're looking for your car,
But you're all turned around.
He's almost upon you now
And you can see there's blood on his face!
My god, there's blood everywhere!
Running for your life
(From Shia Labeouf.)
He's brandishing a knife.
(It's Shia Labeouf.)
Lurking in the shadows
Hollywood superstar Shia Labeouf.
Living in the woods,
(Shia Labeouf.)
Killing for sport,
(Shia Labeouf.)
Eating all the bodies
Actual, cannibal Shia Labeouf.
Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him,
But you're hopelessly lost yourself.
Stranded with a murderer,
You creep silently through the underbrush.
A-ha! In the distance,
A small cottage with a light on.
Hope!
You move stealthily toward it,
But your leg! AH! It's caught in a bear trap!
Gnawing off your leg,
(Quiet, quiet.)
Limping toward the cottage,
(Quiet, quiet.)
Now you're on the doorstep,
Sitting inside, Shia Labeouf.
Sharpening an ax,
(Shia Labeouf.)
But he doesn't hear you enter,
(Shia Labeouf.)
You're sneaking up behind him.
Strangling superstar Shia Labeouf.
Fighting for your life with Shia Labeouf,
Wrestling a knife from Shia Labeouf,
Stab it in his kidney.
Safe at last from Shia Labeouf.
You limp into the dark woods,
Blood oozing from your stump leg.
But you have won.
You have beaten Shia Labeouf
Wait! He isn't dead, Shia surprise!
There's a gun to your head.
And death in his eyes.
But you can do Ju Jitsu.
(You can do it)
Body slam superstar Shia Labeouf.
Legendary fight with Shia Labeouf.
Normal Tuesday night for Shia Labeouf.
You try to swing an axe at Shia Labeouf.
But blood is draining fast from you stump leg.
He's dodging every swipe, he parries to the left.
You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck.
Your chopping of his head now...
You have just decapitated Shia Labeouf.
His head toppled to the floor, expressionless.
You fall to your knees and catch your breath.
You are finally safe from Shia Labeouf.
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air
In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'
I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suit case and sent me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my Walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.
First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.
But wait I hear they're prissy, bourgeois, all that
Is this the type of place that they just send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air
Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo, homes to Bel Air'
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
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