I've got Desticular Cancer, here's how it happened...
The other day I was sitting at home, not feeling too well. I felt a sort of nausea and decided to look into it. I don't know what it was, but I had some [i]Bad Juju[/i] about it.
So today I went to visit my doctor, [i]Doctor Nope[/i]. He's a great physician, and also quite [i]The Comedian[/i]. I'm not so great at [i]Icebreakers[/i] but thankfully I didn't have to talk to anyone in the waiting room.
After some waiting, I received [i]The Calling[/i] from the receptionist that the doctor was ready to see me. I told him how I was feeling and that also my [i]Scrota[/i] felt odd recently. So he gave me a physical, using his [i]Hard Light[/i] inspection [i]Multi-tool[/i] to see closely. Sadly, the [i]Truth[/i] was not good.
The doc told me that I had been ridden with desticular cancer. How could this be? Well he told me one of the symptoms was playing too much Destiny and getting a [i]Red Hand[/i]--I had two. He said the [i]Strange Suspect[/i] as to what might have caused this was a lack Guardian Tears for the week.
How to treat this became a real issue. Left untreated, it could turn into a [i]Swarm[/i] of infections that would ultimately be fatal. [i]The Chance[/i] of surviving would then be low. [i]Patience and Time[/i] would not be enough here, but rather it would take some [i]Prudence[/i] for this matter to be dealt with.
The doctor gave me his [i]Super Good Advice[/i] and suggested a [i]Corrective Measure[/i]. He told me [i] The Cure[/i] would be to use a [i]Purifier[/i] that he could provide me with. I gave him my thanks and went on my way.
Thanks to [i]Doctor Nope[/i] it looks like I will be on my way to recovery rather than succumbing to [i]The Fate of All Fools[/i]. I'm just glad I didn't have to resort to [i]Plan C[/i] and tell him that I got shot with a [i]Thorn[/i]....
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