Bro that's pretty darn gày. Listen I'm not gay so no thank you. The most action you've ever gotten is when you're fingers poke through the toiletpaper while you're wiping your asś
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I think my fiancee would be pretty offended if she heard you saying she's only as good as my fingers but what you gonna do. I dunno man I'm not into shit play in bed, sorry didn't mean to get your hopes up when I said I'd shit on your face. It was in a completely non-sexual way. Calm down.