I’ve lost people through sudden death and suicide and it’s never easy to deal with. The pain and emptiness it leaves behind is something that only heals with time but I regret to inform you it never completely goes away. I’ll be out walking my dogs and an old memory will come back to me and I’ll find myself wiping my tears for a minute or two. With suicide there’s the thought of is there something I could’ve done? Could I have intervened? But the truth is there’s nothing you could do because most people who take their own life usually hide their emotions and feelings very well and disguise any pain or internal conflict they may be feeling. My own cousin took his life after ending a relationship but the week before we were out having a beer and there were no warning signs or anything, he was the same old same old, full of life and energy, cracking jokes and laughing but a week later he was gone. All I can say is take each day as it comes, it’s going to be rough I won’t lie about that and speak to your folks about it. Start a conversation with each other, it’ll help share some of the emotional burden and if other family members open up to you about their own feelings and share whatever they’re going through it’ll do a lot of good for the both of you.