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11/10/2025 11:17:23 PM
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I ate some peas. They taste like body odor.

Why did nobody warn me? For forty years I've avoided peas, forty pleasant years not knowing that peas taste like musky mud. If you told me that peas are made from mushy, moldy drywall I would believe you, but gypsum honestly sounds more apPEAling than the monstrosity that is peas. How can people claim that G-D is good when He put this affront on our plates? "HERE, EAT THEE THESE GREEN MUSH BALLS AND HATE THYSELF AS I HATE THEE." (That's what I imagine the Gods said when they invented peas.) Peas are a trick, they aren't tasty, they taste bad. My soul yearns to forget. Don't make my mistake: Don't eat the peas! Reject them! Say with a firm and resounding voice "I am no pea eater! I'm a hu/wo/man, not a duck, my life has value!" Literally I think they're just repurposed compost.
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