I had begun seeing a therapist to quell my anxieties about potential fatherhood and the possibility that my offspring would have autism...and be like Chris-Chan. After a few visits, I told her about my encounters with subway rats. She gave me a rather cross look and asked me if my family has any history of schizophrenia. I told her no but she insisted that these talking rats that I had interacted with were just manifestations of my potentially fractured psyche and they weren't real. She insisted that I see her more frequently and prescribed me with some crazy pills and sent me on my way. Troubled, I skulked around the subway waiting for a train. I dwelt here often, hoping to glean more wisdom from the rats, but it had been months since I last interacted with one. To be honest, I didn't want to talk to another one again, after just learning that I'm a schizo. Talking to more rats would further reinforce my insanity. After what seemed like an eternity grappling with my thoughts, I made eye contact with a large brown rat with white spots on its body. "I say, good sir," he said in a fatherly voice "Do you have the time?" I couldn't find my voice, I stood there, motionless and after a moment I broke eye contact and just looked at the ground. "What ails you, my friend?" Inquired the rat, "You seem troubled." I looked up, and found myself visibly shaking. "You're not real. My therapist says you're not real." The rat frowned. "I'm not real? Explain thyself, I am no illusion." I told him everything. I told him that a licensed professional told me how I'm insane and he's just a hallucination brought on by my life's anxieties. The rat smiled. "It's alright, most people think they're crazy when my kind speaks to them. You're not crazy. Let teachers, priests, and philosophers brood over questions regarding reality and illusion." "How would you know?" "I know this: If life is an illusion, then I am no less than an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay other rats for food and mating privileges, and I am content." Tears began to fill my eyes when he finished talking. They truly are the wisest of God's creatures. My voice trembled as I spoke. "How are you much wiser than any human I know? What God created you?" The rat chuckled and scratched his ear with his hind leg. "I have known many Gods. He who denies them is as blind as those who trusts them too deeply." He paused, and looked behind him, almost certain that a train was coming. He turned back to face me again. "I promise thee, you will be happiest if you seek not and dwell not beyond death. Enjoy life while it lasts and live deeply while you live. Relish the red juices of red meat and stinging wine on your plate, the hot embrace of white arms around thee, and the mad exultations of battle and lust...and you will be content." The high pitched screeching noise of the trains brakes grinding against metal filled the air. The train had arrived. "I-i-it's 7:48." I stammer. I was trying my best to hold back the tears. The rat gave me a warm, reassuring smile right before scurrying underneath the tracks. The moment I boarded the train, I broke. I had never wept so deeply in my life. Rats are truly the wisest of all creatures in every aspect of creation. Thrice now have I been moved to tears by their wisdom.