JavaScript is required to use Bungie.net

OffTopic

Surf a Flood of random discussion.
Edited by BobBQ: 11/16/2015 5:13:05 AM
394

Bored and need a joke

Well i am bored now .. haven't played on my ps4 for like 2 or 3 weeks now Missing a lot of games So Tell me a joke :) Edit: humph didn't expect this many responses .. there are great ones and a couple of bad ones with a hint of idiot ones

Posting in language:

 

Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

  • Why is 6 afraid of 7. [spoiler]Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.[/spoiler]

    Posting in language:

     

    Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

    9 Replies
    • Edited by pandaXpress007: 11/16/2015 6:42:32 AM
      This is a bit of a long one that my friend told me One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard". Their son walked in and said "What does bitch and bastard mean?" and the parents replied "ladies and gentlemen". The next day the parents decided to have sex, the women said "feel my titties" and the man said "feel my dick". Their son walked in and asked "What does titties and dick mean?" and the parents replied "hats and coats". On Thanksgiving the dad was shaving and he cut himself, "Shit" he said, the kid came in and asked "What's that mean" and the man said it was the brand shaving cream he was using. Down stairs the mom was preparing the turkey, and she cut herself, "f[b]u[/b]ck" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's that mean" the mom said that is what she calls stuffing the turkey. Then the door bell rang. The kid answered the door to his relatives and said "Alright you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties in the closet, my dad is upstairs wiping the shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen f[b]u[/b]cking the turkey

      Posting in language:

       

      Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

      27 Replies
      • Racist joke don't take any offence you -blam!-ing idiot. Why is it hard to get a black a person to go on a cruise? [spoiler]cause they won't fall for that one again [/spoiler]

        Posting in language:

         

        Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

      • Edited by Estrogen Muffin: 11/26/2015 10:45:03 PM
        So me and 2 mates were sat around a table one of them said to us you wanna hear a joke so we say sure he starts "so 3 gay guys were in a tub and a condom floats to the top....." I inturupted saying "nobody asked about your weekend"

        Posting in language:

         

        Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

      • [i][b]This is the trash can, feel free to visit it anytime you like[/b][/i]

        Posting in language:

         

        Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

        9 Replies
        • Look in the mirror

          Posting in language:

           

          Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

          4 Replies
          • 3
            What do you call a gator in a vest? [spoiler]an investigator hue hue hue[/spoiler]

            Posting in language:

             

            Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

            1 Reply
            • [quote][url=https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ][b] [/b][/url]Click around here[url=https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ][b] [/b][/url][/quote]

              Posting in language:

               

              Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

              3 Replies
              • I thought my girlfriend was joking when she said she was leaving me because of my love of Shrek songs. Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer.

                Posting in language:

                 

                Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

                5 Replies
                • Destiny servers

                  Posting in language:

                   

                  Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

                • 1
                  Vanilla Destiny

                  Posting in language:

                   

                  Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

                  1 Reply
                  • Women's rights.

                    Posting in language:

                     

                    Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

                  • My life

                    Posting in language:

                     

                    Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

                  • A guy walks into a bar. Ouch

                    Posting in language:

                     

                    Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

                  • So there's three guys, Shutup, Manners, and, Poop. They were walking when Poop fell down. Manners tried to help him, and Shutup went to get help. He found a cop who asked him "What's your name?" "Shutup." he replied. "Where are your manners?" the cop asked. "Down the road, picking up Poop!"

                    Posting in language:

                     

                    Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

                    5 Replies
                    • So Helen Keller walks into a bar. [spoiler]and a table, and some chairs...[/spoiler]

                      Posting in language:

                       

                      Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

                      3 Replies
                      • My life! :D

                        Posting in language:

                         

                        Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

                      • A lady walks onto a bus with her baby in a pram. "Ugh" says the bus driver," that's the most ugly baby I've ever seen" Hugely offended, she storms to the back of the bus and says to someone," that driver just called my baby ugly." The man responded with" right, you go get him, I'll hold your pet monkey for you"

                        Posting in language:

                         

                        Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

                      • My son

                        Posting in language:

                         

                        Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

                      • Mormonism. That is all.

                        Posting in language:

                         

                        Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

                      • http://bigthink.com/think-tank/is-incest-wrong

                        Posting in language:

                         

                        Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

                      • Why did the mushroom go to the party? [spoiler]because he was a fun-gi[/spoiler]

                        Posting in language:

                         

                        Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

                        3 Replies
                        • When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked!

                          Posting in language:

                           

                          Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

                        • Edited by Top Floor Fatal: 11/25/2015 7:46:43 PM
                          Why did Adele cross the road? [spoiler]to say hello from the other side[/spoiler]

                          Posting in language:

                           

                          Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

                        • Edited by Level Diamond: 11/23/2015 1:55:32 AM
                          Ur name [spoiler] unknown md = unknown my d*ck[/spoiler]

                          Posting in language:

                           

                          Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

                          1 Reply
                          • here comes a joke my teacher told all the time: two tomatoes were crossing a road. one of them got run over by a car and then the other one goes: come on, ketchup! [spoiler]*sigh* we had to laugh in order to get good grades[/spoiler]

                            Posting in language:

                             

                            Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

                          1 2 3 4 5 6 7
                          You are not allowed to view this content.
                          ;
                          preload icon
                          preload icon
                          preload icon